Sunday, November 10, 2013

Calling a Man of Service

A Man of Service
Shows up 
Equipped
Rooted
Valuable (appreciation of character)         
Integrity
Caring
Engaged       
  
As we allow God to break the mold in our lives so that we can be reshaped, remolded, renewed until He is pleased with who we are. Often it seems like everything we do it fall short and goes wrong. In this season of life it has been a common theme when talking to other men and women that we are trying to do the right things in life, but lately feel like we fall short. What God has been speaking to me about and what I have been working on the past 6 months is being a man of God that Serves no matter what I am doing or where I am, this has not been an easy task and feel like some days I am starting all over. I pray as this has encouraged, challenged, and convicted me, that is would do the same for you.
                All Paul’s writings are very similar and a trend in all his writings is in the beginning chapters Paul’s main focus is on doctrinal truths of the Gospel (sin, Redemption, grace, forgiveness, ). The Latter part of his letters focus’ on direction for our lives (more practical), and how we are to present ourselves and act as followers of Christ.  For a lot of us we know the doctrinal truths in scripture, and it is very easy to get caught up in doctrine and even religious practices, and miss out on the practical ways we can truly reflect Christ in every aspect of our lives.  As Jeremiah 18, we will become another vessel that God is pleased with, and can reshape us as needed. Christians have not had a great reputation according to the world.  If you take away our doctrinal truths, and religious practices, does our everyday life look any different than the world? Jesus came not to abolish the law as it says in Matthew 5:17, but to fulfill it. To bring life to the law and life into our lives.

Ephesians 4:1-6 Therefore I, the prisoner of the Lord, implore you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling with which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, showing tolerance for one another in love, being diligent to preserve the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. There is one body and one Spirit, just as also you were called in one hope of your calling; one Lord, one faith, one baptism, one God and Father of all who is over all and through all and in all.
Paul implores us to walk in a manner that is worthy of the calling which you have been called. Paul does not say when you get called, but walk in the manner of which God has already called you to. This is not something new, and not something that just a few of us are called to, but all of us. God calls us to Show up prepared, prepared to run the race, be the man God has and is calling you to be. You wouldn’t do out for football with no pads, and not wearing shoes? Calling us to be humble, I love how the dictionary describes being humble, “a deep sense of one's (moral) littleness”. God has called us to walk modestly, not a know it all that can do no wrong perspective. To be humble, gentle not only outwardly but having a gentle spirit (inwardly). I know I catch myself saying what is right just because I know it is the right thing to say, but deep down inside I am full of selfish thoughts, and feelings, because my spirit is not fed and equipped with the things that are pleasing to God, it is full of things that are pleasing to my flesh.
Paul writes patience, I mean really I am patient; I can deal with things at hand. I looked up the definition of patience and the one word that it uses to describe patience is longsuffering. Really, not deal with the small things that only last a little while? Long suffering really hit home for me. I find myself over time when I am tired and worn out wanting to just give up and give into the flesh. It is the “what is in it for me”, and “what you are doing makes me want to just through in the towel and walk away”. I am not going to lie this has been something the enemy always temps me with when I am tired and down.  
We are called to show Christ love in everything that we do as Christ example shows us throughout scripture. It is a hard thing to love when we feel someone doesn’t deserve it, but think do we deserve the love that we are given each day? We need to be diligent as Paul writes to preserve unity of the Spirit and bond of peace. This is not something that is just going to preserve itself; it is a precious and beautiful thing that we need to take care of each and every day. Paul continues to talk about oneness. We are to have one, One Lord, One faith, one baptism, one God. Luke writes in Luke 16:13 – 15 “ "No servant can serve two masters; for either he will hate the one and love the other, or else he will be devoted to one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and wealth." Now the Pharisees, who were lovers of money, were listening to all these things and were scoffing at Him. And He said to them, "You are those who justify yourselves in the sight of men, but God knows your hearts; for that which is highly esteemed among men is detestable in the sight of God.”  One master not two. From experience it takes a lot more work to serve two masters and live a hypocritical life than it is to serve one.
Ephesians 4:7-13a But to each one of us grace was given according to the measure of Christ's gift. Therefore it says, "When He ascended on high, He led captive a host of captives, And He gave gifts to men."(Now this expression, "He ascended," what does it mean except that He also had descended into the lower parts of the earth? He who descended is Himself also He who ascended far above all the heavens, so that He might fill all things.) And He gave some as apostles, and some as prophets, and some as evangelists, and some as pastors and teachers, for the equipping of the saints for the work of service, to the building up of the body of Christ; until we all attain to the unity of the faith, and of the knowledge of the Son of God,
                God is continually equipping us for the works of service and building up the body of Christ. God’s had a unique calling on each of our lives, not everyone is called to be a pastor, evangelize, or to teach as our full time jobs, but He is calling us to do these things for service and building up the body of Christ. It is not written that this is for Monday through Friday 9 to 5, it is all the time and in everything that we do. I am not a preacher, but I am preaching from God’s word right now. I am not a teaching, but I am teaching, I am not an evangelist but could be evangelizing to someone. God is calling us to be equipped to build up the Body. Calling us to encourage and build each other up in love. Having unity of the faith, we need to work together and not have division between us.
                “And of the Knowledge of the Son of God”. The Greek work used to Knowledge that is used in verse 13 is Epígnōsis, Epígnōsis is defined my Thayer’s as precise and correct knowledge, and is used in the new testament for things ethical and divine.  There is nowhere in the Bible where it says you have to read your Bible every day, and I struggle with getting into the word each day. Paul writes this because he sees the importance of knowing what is right and wrong according God, not the world. You can be smart, but if it is not the truth, or real it is not a valuable tool to be equipped with.

Ephesians 4:13a-16 to a mature man, to the measure of the stature which belongs to the fullness of Christ. As a result, we are no longer to be children, tossed here and there by waves and carried about by every wind of doctrine, by the trickery of men, by craftiness in deceitful scheming; but speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in all aspects into Him who is the head, even Christ, from whom the whole body, being fitted and held together by what every joint supplies, according to the proper working of each individual part, causes the growth of the body for the building up of itself in love.
                We are no longer Children we are Men, not only men, but mature men. God has called us to be rooted in our lives and in our faith. Not to be tossed around and carried away by every new religious fad. Paul describes a mature man as one who is full on Christ. The Greek word used for Mature in Verse 13 is Téleios,  which is also translated as perfect. Thayer’s defines Téleios - that which is perfect, consummate human integrity and virtue of men. God is calling us to live a life of integrity. Who are you when no one is looking, who are you outside of your Church community? Are you the same, or different?
               
Ephesians 4:17-23 So this I say, and affirm together with the Lord, that you walk no longer just as the Gentiles also walk, in the futility of their mind, being darkened in their understanding, excluded from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them, because of the hardness of their heart;  and they, having become callous, have given themselves over to sensuality for the practice of every kind of impurity with greediness.  But you did not learn Christ in this way,  if indeed you have heard Him and have been taught in Him, just as truth is in Jesus, that, in reference to your former manner of life, you lay aside the old self , which is being corrupted in accordance with the lusts of deceit,  and that you be renewed in the spirit of your mind,
                Valuation is the appreciation of worth or character. We all screw up, and will continue to sin, no one is perfect. There were and still are many days were I wonder how I am supposed to have good character. Come on God, I mean you know all, and I am far from perfect. God continually over the past six months has answered, “I know keep persevering” For me Character and integrity go hand in hand. Living a life of integrity does not mean, live a perfect life. It means you are consistent, open and honest about all aspects of your life. A Man of Character does the same thing. He is the same consistent, and owns up to whatever wrong, or miss takes he has made. That is Character, being truthful and honest about everything. Owning up to our sins, and continuing to seeking and finding true repentance.
 Laying aside fleshly desires. Paul describes true repentance, that when you lay aside your fleshly desires, and when you do this you will be renewed in the spirit of your mind. L. M. Grant‘ Comments Since the ungodly mind is set against God, the understanding is darkened so that, though naturally intelligent or even brilliant, such people are unable to discern facts that are transparently clear to a believer (v.19). For so many years this is how I was. I am intelligent, at least enough to get by, or ahead in the world. But I was so entrapped by my fleshly desires that the simplest of things I would ignore, and have trouble doing. Trust me you can ask my wife, I was pretty irresponsible, with a lot of things, ok most things. Earlier I mentioned no longer being like children and you here often out in public, “being married to my husband is like having another child”. There was a time that this was me. I was the foolish Child, and instead of my wife being a partner, someone I lived life with carrying each other’s burdens, she had to act like my mother.  Are you a Child or a Man of God?
I know most of us have heard this over and over from Pastor Michael, but it is so true, and something I keep in perspective each day. “Which Dog are you doing to feed? Whatever dog you feed the most will always win” What dog are you feed regularly and what dog is being starved to death?? There are many times we feel beat up and feel like we are under attack and that it is too much to carry this burden, but are we feeding ourselves spiritually? Are we “working out” to strengthen ourselves? Like working out it is always hard to get into a routine, and at first we feel like we do not have the strength and/or time. Over time it becomes easier and easier and we get stronger and stronger to the point that no matter how hard the work out, we can handle it.
Ephesians 4:24-25  and put on the new self , which in the likeness of God has been created in righteousness and holiness of the truth. Therefore, laying aside falsehood, speak truth each one of you with his neighbor, for we are members of one another.
                We always try to live a life of Integrity. Putting on the new self, righteous, holy, and truth I am all for and as followers of Christ is something we all strive towards, our only weakness as believers is what verse 25 says, “Lay aside”, we fail to lay aside all earthly ways and desires. The Greek word used in Verse 24 for Put, is endýō and is used the majority of the time to describe putting on Clothes, to clothes oneself. Thayer defines the word endýō “ to sink into”, something that we don’t just own, and sometimes wear, but to sink into the new self completely, to be clothed by His righteousness only. When reading this verse and meditating on it, the one thing that always comes into my head is how are you clothed? Are you wearing clothes of the world? Are you wearing the New Clothes in which God sacrificed His son just for you and me? If so, are you only wearing to new clothes, or are you keeping the “Old” (worldly) clothes on underneath? No matter what you have on the outside, if the inside (or underneath) is filthy it will eventually start to stink, and what was once something you hide it will be brought to the light.
                L.M. Grant wrote, “True liberty leads one to willingly take the lowest place so eternal blessing may result” in his commentary of Ephesians 4:25. Living a life of integrity not only blesses us but others around us. This is only obtained through liberation of our fleshly desires. L.M. Grant also writes, “Lying is a common practice of the ungodly” As men of Integrity our lives need to line up with God’s, and only allow the truth to proceed through our words and actions.
Ephesians 4:26-32 Be angry, and yet do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and do not give the devil an opportunity. He who steals must steal no longer; but rather he must labor, performing with his own hands what is good, so that he will have something to share with one who has need. Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear. Do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.
                Be angry but do not sin, is that possible? I know that majority of the time when I get angry I rarely make good decisions, and typically say the wrong words, and give the devil an opportunity to get the best of me, which in the end hurts those who I love most. We want to lift up those who we love, not bring them down. Using words of kindness instead of words of anger is always easier said than done. One word can break, wound, and kill a relationship and a person that we love in one second, and take a thousand kind words and days, months, years to heal the wounds. The Greek word  for sin used in verse 26 is Hamartánō and one definition defines Hamartánō “to miss or wander from the path of the up righteous and honor. How often we wander or miss walking the path in which God has called us to walk. We are easily distracted from the direction the potential that God see’s in us.
                God has called has called us to be kind to one another, forgiving one another as Christ has forgiven us. What we do unto others should be the same as what Christ has done and continues to do for us. It makes me think of all the things that Christ has done for me; forgives, provides, teaches, guides, and strengthens and much, much more.  This is what God is calling us to do as scripture says “do unto others as you would wants others to do unto you” We all selfishly love to be served, but not always wanting to serve others. But that is what Christ has done and continues to do for us each and every day, and we are striving to be Christ-Like.

                The word engage is most often used to describe two sides going head to head in battle as the front lines meet.  Watching any battle scene in a war movie the two sides running straight towards each other holding nothing back always puts you on the edge of your seat. You always want one side, or maybe even one character to win or even survive.  Most of the time we want to see this because of what that side or person stands for. Take William Wallace, he was fighting for freedom, freedom from a corrupt kingdom. He fought for what was right, and not for the sinful ways in which the rulers of Scotland.

 In the movie we see a character Robert the Bruce who was in between both sides fighting for the king or fighting for what he knows to be right in his heart. He betrays Wallace for worldly things, land, money, power. As we break the mold from what the world holds important, and begin to lead our church and family to seek what God desires, we too have to be on the front line, fighting for what is right. Like Robert the Bruce, to never be on the wrong side ever again. We have all found ourselves of the wrong side, and at the time we thought it was better for us and therefore right. Each day we strive to fight for what is right and pleases God, not ourselves or others, it is for His Glory not ours. Christ Sacrificed everything for us, and if we are supposed to be like Christ, we too have to be willing to sacrifice every.


Saturday, August 3, 2013

Finding Peace For Your Soul

I have been thinking a lot about peace this month. This month has been a tough and heavy month with a loss of a friend, our pastor of 18 years is moving away. It seems like life has been busier than ever and there is little time for rest. There have been many times where I have just wanted to give up. Constantly serving God, and serving others is not easy, and my selfish nature constantly says to me "what's in it for you". In my experience this past month every time, my selfishness and pride fight against my spirit man inside that longs to serve my God and Savior, and others that I come into contact with each day, I receive these small moments of God's peace that strengthens my inner spirit. It reminds me and encourages me to continue to press on.

Last night my wife and I attended Chad Rogers Celebration service. Celebrating the life of Chad Rogers. It was amazing to see how he impacted so many lives in his short time here on earth. A common theme as friends shared how Chad had impacted their lives and stories of Chad was that he was always there, he showed up. Chad sacrificed daily, his time was not his, he gave it to others. Chad loved in a way that is uncommon in America. He loved unconditionally. He did not require something in return. He loved with the overflowing love that our Lord and Savior gives to us daily. Chad who moved back from Jefferson City to Liberty after be let go from his church he was a Youth Director at. Chad and his wife and 1 year old son moved into Chad parents home in Liberty. There house in Jefferson City was still one the market, and Chad was a stay at home dad. Chad continued his ministry. He spent time with anyone and everyone, he continued to love with the Love of 
Christ. Most people would be overwhelmed, with not having a job and a house in another city that was still on the market, but not Chad. Chad was at peace because he was yoked to God's will for his life, and not the worlds or his own. The burden in which he carried was Christ. Chad's burden was light, he was at peace here on earth, and is now at home with his Heavenly Father and is at peace as well. 

Matthew 11:28-29,  28 "Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. 29 "Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and You will find rest for your souls. 30 "For My yoke is easy and My burden is light." 
I love Matthew 11:28-29. I know most people know 11:28, but 29 is key to that rest. We need to take on his yoke, and burden, which isn't always what we want, but the result in rest for your souls. I wish it said physical rest, but with 2 toddlers rest is something we day dream about. I pray that we would all take on His yoke, and learn from Him. There are so many time we want the rest, and the easy burden, but don't really want to change our lives and truly follow in Christ foot steps and learn from Him. That is why we talk about rest, and light burdens, and rarely mention how our lives are "yoked" (line up) with Christ. Most of us if we are honest would say sometimes we line up with Christ way of living. We want peace of mind, but we can control our own lives, and work hard for what we have rather than take a leap of faith and follow to where God is leading us, because financially, or realistically it might not be possible in our eyes. The only way I know that we can find true peace is if we follow Christ and yoke ourselves to Him, then and only then do we find peace for our souls. 


Romans 5:1-8

1 Therefore, having been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ,2 through whom also we have obtained our introduction by faith into this grace in which we stand; and we exult in hope of the glory of God. 3 And not only this, but we also exult in our tribulations, knowing that tribulation brings about perseverance; 4 and perseverance, proven character; and proven character, hope;5 and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us.6 For while we were still helpless, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly. 7 For one will hardly die for a righteous man; though perhaps for the good man someone would dare even to die. 8 But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.
This verse keeps coming to mind, gives me strength to persevere no matter what is going on around us. I love verse 6, "For while we were still hopeless, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly." Two things stick out to me is that it never says that we will never feel hopeless, but states while we were still hopeless. There are going to be times when we feel hopeless, even though we know that Christ is there. Secondly God is always right on time. Never too late or too early. There are times when we do feel hopeless and it is the perseverance though that time that strengthens our spirit, and our reliance upon God. 
I love the Hymn It Is Well With My Soul. The lyrics below are so moving and so true. when I think about peace that comes from God, this is the first thing that pops into my mind. 



As Chad yoked himself to Christ, and learned from Him, Chad developed a gentle and humble heart that impacted thousands. Chad reflected Christ and would not settle for anything less. Just by Chad being Chad, and the way he lived challenges us to live as Christ lived, not worrying about what the world thinks of us. Chad had found peace. A peace that only few truly find. I pray now that like Chad we search and find this peace. Peace for our souls, and that we would reflect Christ. That we would yoke ourselves to Christ's way of living, that we would carry Christ burden, and not our own selfish burden. That we would all find peace, a peace that cannot be explained or comprehended, a peace that truly satisfies our soul. I will end this with a verse that not only encourages, but charges us to live right. May God's peace be with you, and that we as Christ followers would reflect Him in everything we do.
Philippians 4:4-9 4 Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice! 5 Let your gentle spirit be known to all men. The Lord is near . 6 Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. 7 And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension , will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.8 Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely , whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things. 9 The things you have learned and received and heard and seen in me, practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.





Sunday, June 30, 2013

Sadness, Joy, Lose, and Gain

Life is always an adventure. Not like the adventures in fairy tails, but more like the Lord of the Rings. Adventure that involves excitement, sorrow, joy, pain, gain, and lose. This past week Desperation Church and myself have felt many mixed emotion with the news of Pastor Michael resignation. Feelings of sadness, lose, and at the same time feelings of peace and joy.  Pastor Michael has played a huge role over the past 18 years as Pastor of Desperation Church, not only in my life, but in the lives of many all around the world. I can remember 13 years ago getting in a van with Michael and 7 other teens and driving to St. Louis for an Acquire The Fire conference. I remember that even then, Michael's passion and energy in his ministry was exactly the same as most of us have seen over the years. Pastor Michael has ran the race in his ministry here is Liberty Missouri. Never slowing down, and always continuing to follow Christ in everything he has done and will do.

Over the past year Pastor Michael has continued his ministry, but something was missing. His wife Kelly who has been suffering with severe head aches and has not been able to attend church. Kelly was there to love, support and do ministry alongside Michael. Michael's sermons continued to challenge us to continue to run after God, but you could tell that spiritually Michael is burdened, and his heart is heavy. This is why I have been having feelings of peace and joy more than lose and sadness after hearing the news of his resignation. Peace and joy that there will be healing for not only Kelly, but for Michael and the rest of the Craft family. That there will be rest spiritually, and physically. Rest and healing that I believe is over due and well deserved for Michael and his family.

This brings Desperation Church somewhere it never thought it would have to go through. We have been through many easy and exciting, as well as painful and hard times over the years, but looking for a new Pastor was one we never thought we would face. As this is a huge change for Desperation church, I am excited. Excited to continue to see the fruits of Pastor Michael and his families work here. Even though their work here for the moment it done, the fruits will continue to be evident for many years to come. Desperation Church will continue to go in the direction that Christ is leading. Desperation Church will continue to run after Christ, and continue to show Christ Love and Glory to those around us.

Desperation Church will be missing part of it's family.  There will be a hole, a Craft Family shaped hole, but I am thankful that for me and many others "Church" for us isn't hearing Bil lead worship and Michael preach. Church for me and my family is so much more than just going to service of the weekends. Pastor Michael has created a community and the opportunity to be in community with other believers each week, each day. I know that Pastor Michael has shared the importance of being in a Relate Group (small group). There is a reason why, no one can live this life of a follower of Jesus Christ by just going to Church once a week. More and more we are going in a completely different direction than the world, and singing a few songs, and an awesome sermon on the weekends are not enough, at least enough to get us through for the whole week. It is living life everyday with other believers who are going in the same direction that gives us strength and the endurance to continue and be strong. For many of us at Desperation church we come from many different back grounds, but living life alongside other believers in our Relate group, and in our church has and will continue to be one of the biggest components in my families spiritual growth.

As this month is the last month of Pastor Michael's preaching at Desperation Church, I am excited for the opportunity to continue to hear Michael's heart. I pray and encourage that those who call Desperation Church home would get plugged in. Plugged into ministry, and into community with others. This is the way we are going to be stronger on the other side of this transition. Desperation church will still be, and will be for many years to come. God will continue the work that he started in Michael and Desperation church will continue to Love God, and Love Others in everything it does. I'm excited for this part in the adventure. The unknown of what is to come, and who will be the Pastor of Desperation is exciting, it is the unknown that keeps us on our toes. The adventure and excitement of our story isn't over, we still have a race to run, and our lives to live. Christ love, grace and guidance has been and will continue to be till the end. Let's be a church that continues to grow and run after God. Christ plan for Desperation Church is bigger than it's members, bigger than Pastor Michael, and I wouldn't miss it for anything.


Saturday, January 5, 2013

New Year, New Goals, Let's do this


Now that it is 2013, and the Holidays are over it is time to think about 2013. Everyone makes resolutions for the year, and most people do not succeed in these changes for more than a few months. Stephanie (my wife) and I are going to set Goals this year (an idea she got from Instagram from a random person she follows). So I have been thinking a lot about Goals in many aspects of my life. I love the thought of making Goals for the year and not resolutions. A resolution is defined as a resolve or determination: to make a firm resolution to do something. A Goal is defined as the result or achievement toward which effort is directed; aim; end. Resolutions is something are determined to do, but that is as far as it normally goals. We rarely take the time to set the goals to actually carry out what we originally were so determined to do.  

This is where and why I believe that setting and having goals can and are more effective. One thing that I have learned over the past few years is the importance of how high or low you set your goals. Meredith Belbin conducted research at Henley Management College on Management teams. One of the interesting findings is that teams that had a higher goal than what they new were capable of achieved high results, and the teams that were more than capable to achieve higher results who set lower goals achieved just that lower results. His observations showed that where ever you set your goals that is what you will achieve  It is very important that you do not miss out of greater things because you set lower goals for yourself.

Stephanie and I not only are going to set person goals this year, but also goals for us as a couple, and as a family. We have two things we want to focus on, the first and most important our Spiritual goals, and second the physical goals (working out, going on vacation, spending more time as a family, Ect.). Coming up with physical goals is pretty easy, it is the Spiritual ones that I have a little bit of a harder time with.

One of the major areas I am going to focus on as one of my main Spiritual goal is sacrifice. Study it, pray it, live it. When we look back at our lives we see that most of our mistakes that we made have a lot to do with us being selfish. Less of me allows God to work through me to Love Him back fully, and so love others with the amazing Love that God pours on us daily. The cool thing is that God's love has covered all our selfishness in the past, present, and future. He paid the price for our stupidity. Now I can choose to follow Him daily and see what amazing things He has in store for my year and my life. One of my other Spiritual Goals is Disciple. Not only to disciple others but to be discipled by those around me to grow and be pushed farther than I could ever imagine.

Have high expectations for yourself. Make physical and spiritual goals, and go for it. I know I am excited to what God can and will do. The uncertainty of what it all entails is the excitement in this whole thing. Knowing that as you follow God's will for your life you are heading in a direction. The problem we most of the time have, is that we are not 100% sure where it is that we are going. This is when and why we always go off on our own and try to control where we go and what we do. This results in another Spiritual goal, the ?, yes the question mark. the goal God has that I will run after and hopefully at the end or further down the road I will know what that ? is.

Enough about my thoughts about Goals, and Resolutions. 2013 Let's do this


Sunday, May 13, 2012

Men and Emotions

Disclaimer: This is not about women and their emotions, and is not about my wife who is 8 months pregnant whose hormones can make her overwhelmingly emotional at times. This is about men, emotions, and how to properly and effectively process and use them. (This information can be very helpful for everyone as well and not just for men).

As men we have a tuff guy image to maintain, at least this is what the world around us tells us. We are told that being emotional is weak. Therefore we ignore all and most emotional feelings that we have. Women are good at addressing and sharing their feelings, and most men are not. Not only are we not good at sharing them, but we are not good at recognizing them and processing them as well.

How emotions are created.

Everything that we see or experience has an emotional reaction. Some emotions that are experienced are big, and some are small. There are many times that we do not realize that we have an emotional response. These things we do and experience everyday for most of our lives and we have developed a pattern or habit of how we process them. When we see or experience something, that information enters the brain though the Spinal Cord. This information then passes through the Limbic System where emotions are created. The functions of the Limbic System are: emotion, behavior, motivation, long term memory, and olfaction (sense of smell). This is a really cool and complex part of the brain. This allows us to experience and remember things. This can create good and/or bad memories.


When we experience something in life in our past this memory can be re experienced to say in our brain. I say re experienced and not to say that we just remember it. Here is an example, Lets say as a child growing up every time you went to your grandparents to visit one weekend a month. Your grandmother always made home made Cinnamon rolls. Over the coarse of the 14 years you did this once a month and every time you had Cinnamon rolls. When walking down a street there can be many triggers that bring this memory back to light. We can here the word Cinnamon rolls, see a picture of one, or simply just smell them. This then makes you think of your grandma. Not just the amazing Cinnamon rolls that she used to make, but all the times you spent with her. As we think of these past experiences that we had with grandma we remember all the good times, the laughter, the love, and even if she has passed away we can experience sadness. This is why I say that we don't just remember it, by we re experience it. This is what I would call a "Good" memory, and re experiencing it is a good and healthy thing.

Now lets look at how this can effect us negatively (Bad memory). Let say when you were younger your father was very negative. If this was experienced in your life. I am truly sorry and pray that God, would heal those wounds. This is an example and is not intended to offend or hurt anyone. Lets say every time that you tried to accomplish something whether is school, sports, or in life and every time you did these things they never seemed to be good enough for him. Lets say that one of the words that he used a lot was failure. "I don't think you are a good runner, and you will fail at cross country" You heard this over and over again growing up and even as an adult. Every time you hear the word fail, or failure it brings back the memory of your father letting you that you were not good enough and will fail, or are a failure. Then you re experience it. You remember the how it made you feel (Sad, Angry). You most likely will remember maybe the smell that your father had. Say he smoked a certain kind of cigarette all his life. Maybe even smelling the scent of a cigarette brings back this memory and you experience it. This is the bad that can come from this complex way we are created, and can lead to depression if not dealt with in a healthy way. I am not saying that God messed up, it is Sin in the world and in us that has affected us negatively. If you are or have experienced these things now or in the past that healing through counseling and the amazing healing that comes from Jesus Christ. So that we are able to over come these negative experiences, and free us from depression. God doesn't want us to be depressed or burdened by things that happened in the past. He is a loving and caring Father who wants to heal us, and remove us from these burdens and memories.

The thing that men are not good at it recognizing what emotions that we are feeling, and why or what made us feel that emotion. As a man I know that we do not have any knowledge of our emotions, but we are very poor at it. We can sometime recognize the core emotions (Sad, Mad, Scared, Joyful, Powerful, and Peaceful) but don't recognized the smaller emotions that make us feel that core emotion. Here is the Feeling Wheel.
At the core of the wheel we see these six core emotions. As men we can sometimes recognize these six, but we cannot process or recognize any of the other emotions and feelings that make us feel one or more of these core emotions. For example lets say we are mad (Not that any of us men ever get mad at any point in our lives), we know that we are mad, and maybe we know the action or thing that made us mad, but we do not know the emotional feeling or feelings that lead us to be mad. Lets use the feeling wheel here as a tool and example. When we are mad and not sure how we ended up mad. We can use the feel to help narrow down what the emotional feeling or feelings that led us to feel mad, and therefore dealing the route cause of the feeling. Let's say since we are mad in this example that we can look deeper into recognizing the emotional feeling that we are having. We then find that we are hurt. Now we are starting to get somewhere. They we can look into am I just hurt, or is there more (sometimes there is more and sometimes not). We then recognize that we are distant. Look at this on the feeling wheel. Do you see how the wheel works. When we feel distant it can lead to hurt, which can lead to us feeling mad.

So the first thing that we need to do it to recognize the feelings that we have. Understanding what emotions you are having can help you think and act rationally (as we see in the brain diagram above), but we will get to that later. This skill takes time and as I can now better recognize my emotional feelings I still have a long way to go, but I am working on it. It takes sitting down or taking a moment when we start to feel something and evaluating what we are emotions we are having and what is making us feel this way. This is and can be a powerful tool in life and especially in your relationships, and even more powerful and effective is creating and building intimacy in your marriage. When I can sit down with my wife and while we are talking about our days. I can simple answer to the question how are you, "oh I am relaxed" or even more vague then that, "good". Or I can truly and more clearly communicate with her by letting her know truly and honestly how I am knowing and recognizing how I am feeling emotionally. I can answer the same thing, but know what emotions I am having or experienced I can say, "I feel relaxed, I am very content with how God, has and is providing for us financially, and it is giving me a peace of mind". See the depth, and it is not that it took 20 more minutes out of my day. it probably took 20 extra seconds. This is what are wives are wanting to know when they ask how we are doing. This is the intimacy that she craves and it needed in a healthy relationship. Intimacy is more then Sex. It is emotional, physical and spiritual. This is how God Created it to be. Hint Hint If you work all all three of these in your marriage as God intended us to have present in our marriages. You will find that you will have a closeness and a friendship with your spouse like nothing you have experienced before. That God will bless and use your relationship in incredible ways, and just being honest you want "mind blowing sex" This is the recipe to true God honoring, and God created intimacy.

Having any of these feelings is not bad, or a sin. It is what we do with these emotions (how we deal with them or try to mask them) that can cause us to sin. As we experience these emotions and can recognize them this will help us use the part of the brain in which God created us to use to think and act rationally, or I like to think of it as God honoring thoughts and actions. The Cerebrum part of our brain is divided up in four sections, frontal lobe, parietal lobe, occipital lobe, and temporal lobe. This part of the brain allows us to associated with reasoning, planning, parts of speech, movement, emotions, problem solving, movement, orientation, recognition, perception of stimuli, visual processing, perception and recognition of auditory stimuli, memory, and speech. The healthy and natural process of emotions is to recognize them them we can them process and use them in a healthy way.

What an unhealthy way looks like. When we ignore our emotions or do not know what they are we then keep them trapped in the Limbic System part of our brain. We then let these emotions build up and then we explode. Which has happened in my life a lot. As recognizing my emotions it is getting better, but still at times I can blow up. This is why I am working on this area in my life. We then can also by not recognizing or ignoring them we can react in an unhealthy way. Example: You feel overwhelmed, not recognizing it or ignoring this feeling. You then yell at one of my associates for being one minute late to work. Yes, he/she was late, but this is a very unhealthy and destructive way to handle it. Approaching the same scenario, but with recognizing and processing the emotions that we are feeling. Feeling overwhelmed, why because your boss came up to you and said that your teams performance was not acceptable. That their productivity and attendance was not acceptable, and you boss is questioning whether or not your skills and ability to be over this team. When the associate show up late it creates an emotional response. Since you are and have recognize your emotions you then handle things differently.You recognize that you are overwhelmed, stressed and even scarred that you might loose you job. You then pull the associate as side and address that they were late and that they need to be there on time and what expectation you have for them. This is much healthier way of handling the situation. If you would have just yelled at them, do you think the problem would be fixed or that the individuals productivity would improve, probably not. It would probably get worse over time. This is an example in the work place, but the principle can be and is applicable to all areas of our lives.

As Men (and women), this is something that we struggle with. This is not one of our strengths. If you ask your wife, she would agree, I know my wife agrees that I am not good at it. Like all weaknesses and faults there is always room for strengthening and correction. This is not to bash of anyone or even my fellow brothers in Christ. This is to help encourage and share the knowledge and tools to be better men, husbands, fathers, friends, and any other hat that we wear in life. I want to succeed in becoming the person that God has called me to be. In order for this to happen I have to allow and continue to allow God to point out my sin and my weaknesses for that He can cleanse them and build up the strength so that I can better Love God, and Love those around me. I hope that is made sense, and is helpful. I know that usually I share more what God has been teaching me Spiritually and through reading books, and the Scripture, but as I could not sleep this was on my mind, and was led to share it. 
 


Wednesday, May 2, 2012

What Are We Thinking?

Our mind is a powerful tool in which God has given us. It enables us to do our day to day activities it allows us to hold most of the information that we put into it (which is a lot). What we think about on an ongoing basis has adapted us to who we are today. It has controlled our actions, or thoughts, and has rendered us dead spiritually at times. Our mind has given us ideas that if we do x, y, or z when no one is around and appear to others as followers of Christ that everything is going to be just fine. This happens because we fall into temptation and start living in sin. Being tempted is when Satan feeds us a lie, being in temptation is when we allow that lie to entice us (ENTICE: to attract artfully or adroitly or by arousing hope or desire).Satan is very good at making his lies look attractive, hopeful, and desirable in his own artistic way. Then we enter sin. We believe the lie, we follow where and what the lie leads us. We then repeat this sin over and over again, and then we find ourselves living in sin which leads to death.




Dennis F. Kinlaw Writes in the Beginning of Chapter 2 in The Mind of Christ, “The essence of sin is self-interest.” Over the years my view of what sin is has changed. I no longer see sin as list of things that I should not do. I see sin as anything that is not following God’s will for my life. If I am not following Him and walking in His path, I am not obeying Him. If we focus on not sinning we are on the defense, and there is no offense to be seen and no growth to become more like Christ. God calls us to be great men and women of the faith, not to just avoid sin, but to pick up our Cross daily and follow Him. Yes, we need to make sure that we are not sinning, but we also need to make sure we are running the race in which God has laid before us. If we only do one of these we become lukewarm. Revelations 3:15-16 says, “I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot; I wish that you were cold or hot. So because you are lukewarm, and neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of My mouth.”

Kinlaw goes on to write in chapter 2 about the sin in this same way. He gives an illustration on Abram and Sarai and God’s will for Abram to be the father of many nations. After 10 years and still no child, Sarai then gives her servant Hagar to Abram to conceive a Child. This was in accordance to the law of the land at the time. This was not anything out of the ordinary, and God did not specify that Abram was going to have a Child with Sarai until after Hagar conceived and gave birth to Ishmael. And as Kinlaw says, “Yet they interfered with God’s will for their lives, because they did not believe God would miraculously accomplish what he had promised them.”

I love how Kinlaw writes how our view of sin today does not capture the picture of God’s story. “Contrary to the currently popular view, Christ did not come into this world to restore our obedience to God’s law. Obedience was involved in his mission; but obedience was not the essence of his divine sonship. Nor is obedience the essence of divine spouse hood, which corresponds to our relationship with the heavenly Father, as the Bride of Christ. Love is more than obedience, just as estrangement is more than disobedience.” We need to be those who are in the Spirit and walked according to God’s way not our own way, or our own interpretation of God’s way. We need to understand His way and carry it out exactly as He leads us to. His way and in His timing not ours.

Romans 8:1-9

1 Therefore there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. 2 For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus has set you free from the law of sin and of death. 3 For what the Law could not do, weak as it was through the flesh, God did: sending His own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh and as an offering for sin, He condemned sin in the flesh, 4 so that the requirement of the Law might be fulfilled in us, who do not walk according to the flesh but according to the Spirit. 5 For those who are according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who are according to the Spirit, the things of the Spirit. 6 For the mind set on the flesh is death, but the mind set on the Spirit is life and peace, 7 because the mind set on the flesh is hostile toward God; for it does not subject itself to the law of God, for it is not even able to do so, 8 and those who are in the flesh cannot please God. 9 However, you are not in the flesh but in the Spirit, if indeed the Spirit of God dwells in you. But if anyone does not have the Spirit of Christ, he does not belong to Him.



In the past and present we have let death and destruction tear others around us apart because we are or were living in the flesh. We were or are dead and could not and/or cannot achieve anything substantial while living in the flesh. What we crave is what Romans 8:6 says, “Life and Peace”. We want to be alive once more.

We as humans are incapable of making the right choices on our own. We do not have all the answers, and even the answers that we think we have rarely line up with Christ’s. In the Jewish culture Children have been raised up in the temple, they would memorize the Torah (The Law). After this some would then go and learn the family business, and others who were devoted to God’s word would then continue their studies under a rabbi. By following a Rabbi they were publicly saying that they agree with his teaching and interpretation on the scriptures (Law). When Jesus went out and chose the twelve disciples who were working in their family practices (Fishing, farming, tax collector, Ect.). They as a child would have grown up in the Temple they knew the Torah by heart or at least they did at one point in their lives they did. When Jesus asked them to come and follow Him, He was not asking them if they wanted to walk around with Him from town to town. He was asking them if they agreed with His teaching and wanted to learn from Him and His interpretation on the Scripture, to be His disciple. A DISCIPLE is one who accepts and assists in spreading the doctrines of another. As followers of Christ we are called to follow Him. To accept His teachings (God’s Word) and to assist in spreading it. We are then allowing Christ to fully take over our lives yielding to His way of life, and to His teachings.

In Chapter 1 of The Mind of Christ, Dennis F. Kinlaw talks about going up in a plane with a friend and looking at all the instruments on the panel. His friend was telling him that there is only two instruments that must have in a plane. One a Compass, and second a artificial horizon. The artificial horizon lets the pilot know which way is up and which way is down. Kinlaw thought this to be useless that you would really need an instrument to determine which way is up and down. His Friend went on to explain when you are up in a cloud you cannot tell which way is what. This got me to think about life. At times we think we know what is best. We can see what is right in front of us. We can clearly see what is Right and what is Wrong. What happens when we enter a cloud or it is dark and our vision is hindered? What Happens when we are thrown a lie, or our perception on life differs from God’s because of our upbringing, or are our sin (Past or present) starts sneaking up on us?

Kinlaw Writes, “We have no artificial horizon inside of us. We have no internal compass. Our bodies bear witness to the fact that we need guidance from outside of ourselves. Yet so often we think, It’s my life. I can control it. I don’t need God or anyone else. Then we make great mistakes, damaging our own lives and the lives of other people.” We have seen this damage in our own lives and in others around us, our spouses, family, and friends. We see in Abrams and Sarai’s story that even though they did not break God’s or Man’s law, but did not follow God’s plan but taking it into their own hands that there was damage. Not any “Sin”, but still damage. Sarai said that she was despised in Hagar’s sight. Sarai was hurt, even though it was her idea to give Hagar to Abram. Hagar was then mistreated by Sarai. Hagar then fled because she was being treated harshly. After Ishmael was born, and after Sarai conceived and gave birth to Isaac think about Ishmael. Ishmael grew up being the oldest, but having your little brother be in the spotlight because he was the “Son” in whom God was going to make this great nation, which I am sure had to hear Abram talked about over and over around the dinner table. Do you see the damage, do you see that the damage does not come all at once, and does not just affect one person, but can trickle down and effect more people then we could ever imagine. We have all seen this all around us, because of our sin and failure to follow God’s will.

Let us be Men and Women that think rightly in and about our lives. That our view and our way of thinking things would line up with God’s. That we would make all our decision using our instruments that God has given us. Our compass, God’s Will, as well as our Artificial Horizon, The Holy Spirit. To keep us on the straight and narrow path, that we would not be cold or lukewarm, but HOT on fire for Christ. That we would not cause any more damage than we have already caused.









Sunday, April 22, 2012

Being a Responsible Husband, and Father

I just finished painting Atlee's room pink. It is official we are having a girl in June. Not that I didn't know before, it just set in a little more as I painted. As I was working on painting I was trying to think what it was going to be like when Atlee comes and I am a father of two. All the things that came to my mind where things that God has been working on in me. Things that I was convected of then and obviously still are things that I need to be continuing to work on.

As I think of what a husband and a father should be. We are always first to think of what is read in most of us who are married weddings. Ephesians 5:22-33.

22 Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body. 24 But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything.

25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, 26 so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be holy and blameless. 28 So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself; 29 for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church, 30 because we are members of His body. 31 FOR THIS REASON A MAN SHALL LEAVE HIS FATHER AND MOTHER AND SHALL BE JOINED TO HIS WIFE, AND THE TWO SHALL BECOME ONE FLESH. 32 This mystery is great; but I am speaking with reference to Christ and the church. 33 Nevertheless, each individual among you also is to love his own wife even as himself, and the wife must see to it that she respects her husband.


There are a lot of men that read this and even pastors who preach from the pulpit that the husband is the head of the family and that the wives need to listen and submit to what the husband decides to say or do. In the mean time missing the key to what Paul is trying to get across. That Husbands should love their wives just as Christ loves the Church and gave Himself up for her. Mark Driscoll put it in perfect convicting words in his Sermon Men and Marriage which I believe that all Husbands should listen to http://marshill.com/media/real-marriage/men-and-marriage.

"Here’s the bottom line, guys. Your wife is your garden. And if you don’t like the way the garden looks, you’re the gardener. You can’t just stand back and yell at her, or give demands to her, or pass judgments regarding her. You need to love her like Christ loved the church. You need to take responsibility like Jesus took responsibility. You need to pursue her. You need to invest in her. You need to care for her. You need to cherish her and nourish her with the grace that God gives you."

 This does not mean work 40 plus hours and take out the trash and mow the yard. This means being imitators of Christ. This would have been in the minds of the church in Ephesus. The beginning of Ephesians Chapter 5 Paul writes about being imitators of God. When I think about imitators of God the first thing that comes to mind is the Sunday School answer Jesus. He Imitated God to the fullest. He was God in the Flesh. So how are we to be husbands like Christ was to the Church? Like this....

1 Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children; 2 and walk in love, just as Christ also loved you and gave Himself up for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God as a fragrant aroma.
3 But immorality or any impurity or greed must not even be named among you, as is proper among saints; 4 and there must be no filthiness and silly talk, or coarse jesting, which are not fitting, but rather giving of thanks. 5 For this you know with certainty, that no immoral or impure person or covetous man, who is an idolater, has an inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God.
6 Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of these things the wrath of God comes upon the sons of disobedience. 7 Therefore do not be partakers with them; 8 for you were formerly darkness, but now you are Light in the Lord; walk as children of Light 9 (for the fruit of the Light consists in all goodness and righteousness and truth), 10 trying to learn what is pleasing to the Lord. 11 Do not participate in the unfruitful deeds of darkness, but instead even expose them; 12 for it is disgraceful even to speak of the things which are done by them in secret. 13 But all things become visible when they are exposed by the light, for everything that becomes visible is light. 14 For this reason it says, "Awake, sleeper, And arise from the dead, And Christ will shine on you."
15 Therefore be careful how you walk, not as unwise men but as wise, 16 making the most of your time, because the days are evil. 17 So then do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is. 18 And do not get drunk with wine, for that is dissipation, but be filled with the Spirit, 19 speaking to one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs,  singing and making melody with your heart to the Lord; 20 always giving thanks for all things in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ to God, even the Father; 21 and be subject to one another in the fear of Christ.

If you read this as a man and as a husband and you did not feel convected you are lying to yourself. We all sin, I read this and every thing that is listed in here I can think of some way that I am being greedy, immoral, and impure. We get caught so easily in Satan's lie that it is OK, we rarely do these things, or that they are not hurting me or anyone else so it is ok. I can give it up whenever I need to. Being apart of the "Sons of disobedience" is something we find ourselves in over and over. We try to fit in with others around us. I catch myself doing this around people at work, and other places. We try to fit it, and every time I feel like crap because I know i maybe should not have said something or even walked away, because the conversation would not be pleasing to the Lord. Trying to do what is pleasing to the Lord is hard in the world that we live in. That is why Paul writes "Therefore be careful how you walk, not as unwise men but as wise, 16 making the most of your time, because the days are evil."

The biggest thing that has hindered me in the marriage and in my life has been the things that I did in the secret. The sins that I did and let no one see. Doing one thing and pretending to be someone else for most of my life. In the end it got me now where. It was not until everything was exposed to the light and I continued to let the light shine in all areas of my life that I started to feel alive, started to feel real, to real genuine. It is when we let Christ Shine on us that we can reflect Christ Love and truly be Christ-like. I am convinced that when we hide things in the dark that it hinders us not only Spiritually, but in our marriages, family, friendships and even our jobs. I was frustrated for years at work wanting a promotion, to see me for what I am capable of. Looking back I can see that even though all my sin I hide in the dark, that it was reflected to others. I was filthy, dirty. I did not reflect Christ and was not living to the fullest that Christ intended me to. It was not until I let everything into the light that I started to be seen as Christ fully created me to be. Needless to say after 9 months of continuing to let Christ light shine on every area of my life that I received the promotion that I was wanting and working towards.

One thing that I mentioned earlier that I felt convected of, and one of those was greed. Not a greed of money, but more of a greed of my time, a greed for what I think I am in tiled to. As men most of us get to be this way. If we look at the world around us we can see why. We feel that as men since we work and do the "hard work" around the house that we are in tiled to our hobbies, our time, and that we can do whatever we want and that our wives should be ok with it because we deserve it. The media has been and continues to cram this lie in our heads everyday. Look at truck commercials, the message is a lot of them are you need a truck so that you can go fishing, camping, go up on a mountain, and hang out with the guys. How many shows, and movies show men going out for poker night with the guys one night, then a few nights later going out to the game. Ultimately leaving the wife at home by herself to not only put the kids to bed, but to sit at home by herself lonely. I am not saying that hobbies and time with the guys are bad. it is that they come before our families far too often. It is taking responsibility and if you have time to do the other things with the guys or your hobbies then that is great. Mark Driscoll says in the same sermon, "I need you men to hear that, because there are guys right now who drive trucks, shoot guns, and beat women. That’s not a man. There are other men who drive hybrids. God bless you. We’ll pray for you. These men don’t shoot guns, but they love their wives, and they love their children, and they take responsibility, and as a result, people under their leadership are blessed, flourish, and see Jesus Christ in them. Those are men."

When talking about Responsibility Mark Driscoll mentions in his sermon Men and Marriage four responsibilities that us as husbands as heads our are family should have and the priority should be in this order as well. When these responsibilities are not kept in order we are not being responsible as husbands.


1.   Number one, your first responsibility is Christian: repent of sin; trust in Jesus’ death, burial, and resurrection; read your Bible; grow in grace; pray; be involved with God’s people in the church. Christian. First things first, your covenant relationship with God.

2. Your second responsibility is to your spouse

3. Parent. If God should bless you with children, loving them, serving them, raising them, investing in them, and growing them

4.  Your fourth responsibility is worker. This can be your work outside of the home, vocationally. You go to work and pay your bills.

This is not to condemn or judge anyone this is what I have been converted of and working on in my life right now. This is to help all us men succeed not only as followers of Christ, but that we would be successful in our marriages and are the head or our families. That the end result would be not only strong men of God that reflect His love, but that our families would reflect Christ and His Church. The impact that we hope to make in the world as a Church needs to start at our families. Most people that we come into contact with do not see the pure love and how real and amazing our God is, because most of them don't go to Church, but what they do see is us. They see us, our wives, our children, and the image that we project outside of the walls of Church is what they perceive the Church to be. What we really need to be is imitators of God to others. To reflect Christ to our family and to others around us every moment of everyday.